Rome wasn’t built in a day

Rome wasn’t built in a day


Gooooooooood moooooorning!  I didn’t blog last week because I couldn’t.  I didn’t have time and I also wasn’t sure how to to tie everything that I wanted to say into one blog post. I’ve found that sometimes its best to sit on things and wait until I’m ready.  This isn’t natural for me, as I’m innately an impulsive person.  That said, I try to apply this to all aspects of my life and have also found that compartmentalizing everything is key to staying sane (for me).

I would like to preface this for all the haters out there who think I am going to use this platform as a way to air everyones’ dirty laundry. I’m not and if you think that about me and this, then you really don’t know me at all.  That is a reflection of you, not me.  I also find it rather comical (and annoying)  that there are people in my life whom are sooooo concerned about me talking about their shit, yet they have no problem going around, behind my back, talking about my shit.  We all have shit. Its life. I’m not perfect. Don’t claim to be, but I own my dysfunction. I say this a lot: accountability is BIG for me. When I’m in the wrong, and I’m human, so it happens, I try to make amends as quickly as possible.  I don’t have time, or energy, for drama anymore.  I lived my life like that for 32 years and that was enough. I want to be happy, joyous and free. If you can’t accept that about me, then that’s your choice. This is who I am and I can’t stress this enough:  I like this person, way better than I like the old me.

Alcoholism has been prevalent my entire life.  I never understood why they called alcoholism a ‘family disease’ until I started going to Alanon. I am going to keep that to a minimum because it goes against the traditions of the program and I do not wish to disrespect that.   But I will say this: you don’t need to be affected by alcoholism to benefit from the principles of the program. As I heard in a meeting many years ago: “just go to a Cubs game and you’ve been affected (effected? always confuse those 2) by alcoholism” (Ha! Go Cubs). One of the first things I heard that made sense to me was this: “Imagine yourself in a hula hoop. Everything in that hula hoop, and mind you, it isn’t big, is within your control. Everything outside of the hula hoop, not within your control and not your business.”.                   I’m a visual learner,  so this really resonated with me. I was in tears when I heard it and said in a share: “Holy shit, I’ve spent my entire life in everyone else’s hula hoop!”.  That was a major epiphany for me and marks when I started to change. Correction, found the courage to start changing my life & myself. Now, for those that don’t know the details around my story and timeline, this was before I got engaged and before I got really sick.

This is me. Take it or leave it.  This is the person I want to be and have worked damn hard to get here. Have I made massive mistakes and poor choices in my life?  You bet. Who hasn’t?  But I’ve also made great decisions and worked very hard at dealing with the cards life has dealt me, the best that I can, without having it become me.  Its a part of who I am, but not who I am.

I received a FB message this morning asking me about detox baths and epsom salt.  This person has been dealing with chronic pain their entire life and was also inquiring for a friend recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia (which I have, more on that later). This is part of the reason I choose to be transparent.  I want to turn the hell that I lived through into a positive and share some of the tools I’ve found that help me with those that are struggling.  I’m proud of that.  This is the person I want to be.  I’ll do a separate post on epsom salt with videos and pictures later. In the interim I’ll share this blog that was helpful for me when I first got diagnosed with lyme. 👇  Everyone has questions about lyme, fibromyalgia, which came first, do I still have it, how do I think I got it, etc.  Its complicated and I will post more information about that topic later because a lot of you ask and it actually saves me time, by doing so, so stay tuned.

Just like Alanon, you don’t need to be sick, per se, to benefit from all of the things ‘The Healthy Apple ‘ talks about on her blog.  If you’re hungover, have the flu, or have aches and pains that come with aging, take a detox bath.  Its pretty simple, but the most important thing to remember is to rinse off afterwards. You don’t want your skin to reabsorb the toxins back in afterwards. Make sure to drink plenty of water and rest if you feel like your body needs it.

🍎 🍏


Lastly, if you haven’t listened to Brene Brown on 99U/TED Talks, you’re missing out. She’s been featured on Oprah and, in my opinion, incredible. I love how she self deprecates and adds humor into talking about vulnerability and criticism.  A lot of what she discusses is parallel to the things I’ve learned in Alanon, so I embrace this type of thinking.  Show up, stay in your hula hoop, live and let live.  What this world would look like if we stopped trying to make people something different from what they are and just focused on ourselves.

“If you aren’t in the arena with me, also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback!”

Enjoy your Saturday, folks!

~MLH 💋